I Went On 9 Bumble BFF Dates in 8 Weeks

Here's the recap

As a member of the loneliest generation living in a new city post-grad, it’s an almost unsettling task trying to make “new” friends. Not that I’m not content with my “old friends”, but it seems like they only exist on my phone. Gone are the days of classroom proximity which led to beautiful friendships — friendships that now withstand different time zones. So, I did what any Gen-Zer would do and downloaded an app: Bumble BFF.

Over the course of eight weeks, I matched with nearly 100 people within a 10-mile radius of me who ranged from ages 22-25. Many of those matches didn’t make it past the greeting stage, but the ones that did led to conversations about hobbies, interests, work, and the best spots to hang around town. When the stars aligned (aka our busy schedules), they led to first friend dates.

“It’s like shopping for friends,” my first Bumble BFF date Lauren said over coffee when I asked her about her experience with the app. And, she was right. Friend dating is like trying on clothes. Sure, some are great for nights out, others are good for concerts, and occasionally, a few get put back on the rack. But, the best ones? Those are the friends that go with everything. 

Grabbing coffee was the most common activity, making up four of the nine dates. It’s an easy, affordable option for getting the small talk out of the way. The downside to this activity (besides waking up early) is that a cup of coffee lasts you 45 minutes at best. This realization came to fruition on each date and was followed by a walk around the city.

Luckily at a bar, you can order multiple drinks and feel a different type of buzz (now imagine ordering a third latte on a date — my heart is palpitating just thinking about it). I met three of my nine first dates at bars. Naturally, I found these dates to flow with more openness… which was a good case for two of the dates and questionable for one. Bar dates are filled with laughter at their best and too many bathroom breaks at their worst. 

Two of the dates were held over meals, which proved to be a perfect length of time to get to know someone. You can ease into the conversation by discussing the menu, there’s something to look forward to, and you can take bites between awkward silences. 

Of those nine people I met with, I saw seven of them again. The most common second date was going to the art museum. Two of those second dates have turned into third (or more) dates (hurray)! This begs the question: how long does it take to consider someone a close friend? According to the Wall Street Journal, it can take at least 200 hours. So, it looks like I have a long way to go but I’m excited nonetheless. 

If you haven’t downloaded Bumble BFF, I highly recommend it, especially during a time like your 20s because friendship is one of the greatest things in life. I’ll leave this quote from A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara that sums it up perfectly: 

“Why wasn’t friendship as good as a relationship? Why wasn’t it even better? It was two people who remained together, day after day, bound not by sex or physical attraction or money or children or property, but only by the shared agreement to keep going, the mutual dedication to a union that could never be codified.”